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Coldly
by Irina Guschina (Age: 53)
copyright 05-17-2003


Age Rating: 16 to 127

 
Haiku

Staying here, alone,
I was thinking of cold stars.
Stars like cold lovers…


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06-02-2003 Christopher Doss    

Again, beautiful.
I am trying to do one of these but there are much harder than I first expected. I will keep trying =)
05-25-2003 Gregory Christiano    

Once again, vivid, powerful. "Cold lovers." Really well written.
Gregory
05-19-2003 Nancy Pawley    

I picture a cold lover like a night-time star..all glittery and shiny on the outside, but colder than an iceberg emotionally..fantastic poetry here, Irina.
Nancy
05-19-2003 Irina Guschina    

Thank you Lyle! Thank you Denise!Ok Denise.Do you really think that a cold lover for us means we killed lover? I think the word "cold" in poetical language has many meanings, including "indifferent"; in other words, who has a cold soul.
Next just a joke... I will not kill a cold lover. I let him live! What if he will become hot?! - Irina.
05-19-2003 Lyle Berry    

Excellent again, Irina. The first line, however, needs one more syllable to achieve the 5-7-5 format of the formal Haiku. Also, I think a present tense of the verb would be stronger. Perhaps:

Lying here, alone,
I am thinking of cold stars.
Stars like cold lovers…

Warm Regards,
Lyle
Visitor Reads: 570
Total Reads: 675
Comments: 5

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