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Senses
by Jet Coffey
copyright 05-25-2003

Age Rating: 1 to 127

Listen for me,
when the wind blows,
when the rain falls,
when the waves crash.

Look for me,
when the leaves fall,
when the birds fly,
when the stars glow.

Feel for me,
when velvet brushes your skin,
when flower petals crumple,
when cool water flows.

Smell for me,
when flowers bloom,
when the rain subsides,
when ocean mist sprays.

Taste for me,
when chocolate melts,
when cherries are glazed,
when pie is still fresh and warm.

Always hear me say "I love you,"
in every laugh,
in every sob,
in every scream.

I am all around you,
and I always will be,
no matter where I am,
forever.

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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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05-12-2006 Jack Curson

Good description of one who cares and know the love will last past the bounderies we place on our simple lives.

08-09-2005 Deone Wiley

I like the basic concept of this piece. I would like to see a change or two. Instead of "Listen for" or the sense plus the word for, I think a stronger statement would be: Hear me or See me or Feel me. This is a strong spondee of two stressed syllables. Then in the second to the last stanza start with Listen for me etc. skip the lines with every etc and jump tothe last stanza. This, I think, makes a much stronger statement. Write it out on a piece of paper, and then let me know what you think. Of course, you are the poet and I a critic. I am interested in what you might think of my suggestions. As I said, this is a nice poem. It just seems to me it could be stronger.

03-01-2005 Anthony Lane Stahlhut

Beautiful piece. Thanks, Anthony

09-11-2003 Rissa T.

Thats a very cool poem! I really liked it!

05-26-2003 Cleao Kavanagh

Great! You captured all five senses beautifully.

05-25-2003 Gregory Christiano

All the five senses at work. Once again, very nice.