My Saddest Regret or Slow Suicide by Cigarette by Robert D. Furrow

By Robert D. Furrow
Copyright 07-20-2001

Henrietta Fizer Furrow 1928=1998

My darling has been gone for years,
But I still mourn and cry my tears.
This is one of my saddest regrets,
I couldn’t get her to give up cigarettes.

Our married years numbered forty-five,
Except for cigarettes she would be alive.
But she had to puff on that cigarette.
If it wasn’t for them she’d be with me yet.

She started smoking at seventeen.
And like the stars of the silver screen
She thought it made her look so cool,
She didn’t realize it was the devil’s tool.

She was smoking when I first met her.
I told her that someday they would get her.
But she had to have that nicotine fix,
She said, “When I smoke something clicks,”

“If I am nervous it calms me down.
If it makes me happy why do you frown?”
I did everything to try to persuade her
But nothing I said could dissuade her.

Oh, I smoked off and on for a while,
But soon decided it was not my style.
I never liked the smell nor the taste,
And for the money it was just a waste.

Why do something bad for your health
And if continued would deplete your wealth?
Over the years it cost a ton of money,
But what I mourn for is only my Honey.

She started having pains in the chest,
And coughing, and nights of unrest.
At first they treated her for bronchitis,
Then said, “One more test will decide us.

The doctor said, “This is very painful for me,
But it looks like you have the Big ‘C’.
The X-rays of your lung show a tumor
The biopsy showed it was not a rumor”.

We will try to get some more information
And then we’ll try a series of radiation.”
The radiation seemed effective for a while,
And we both thought we had reason to smile.

The day of the biopsy she gave them up.
Quit cold turkey, never took another puff.
I guess she felt it was time for abstention,
A probe in your lung gets your attention.

But by then it was already much too late,
For Red PALL MALL Kings had sealed her fate.
Cancer of the lung is not an easy death,
It’s painful to watch your lover fight for breath.

The Bible says don’t call any man a fool,
But if you are hooked on the devil’s tool
Just how smart does that make you look?
That makes a person foolish in my book.

You may think, am I calling my wife a fool?
No, but she did a foolish thing to look cool.
Then she got hooked by nicotine’s power
And now I am alone and mourn every hour.

Then I kept my last promise to my wife,
Took her on the journey she missed in life.
In death, she was carried home at last,
And her family was left to mourn the past.

So, all young people. if you never start
To smoke, you’ll never break anyones heart
When the doctor gives you news you dread,
That within six months or less you’ll be dead.

If you never take that first quick puff
That you think makes you look so tough,
Then you will save yourself a life of regret
If you never pick up that first cigarette.

Copyright 2001 Robert D. Furrow
Photograph by Robert D. Furrow
All rights reserved.

Comments on this Article/Poem:
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11-20-2002 Autumn B. 
i am truly sorry for your loss…and i dont even know you..ive read afew of your poems and i feel like i know you that much better then someone on the street. your works have such heart; such feeling, its like you’ve taken out your heart and let everyone see. you are a truly remarkable writer.

05-21-2002 Peggy Bertrand 
Bob,

im sorry for your loss. And I want you to know I liked the message in this poem. I quit smoking last October 8,2001,8:35 a.m. and havn’t smoked again. I was scared of the exact same thing..